I’m not so convinced by Jon as a character in love - it’s s tricky thing to convey and he’s comes over a bit teenager-y or at least not particularly true to his scientific background - vague re the standing stones and the talk about moon and earth is a bit too much - although that particular conversation gets into its stride. Also because it’s an extract of a novel the hopeful beginnings of their relationship perhaps don’t bear being separated from the darker developments. There not being enough drama to sustain interest without the Raleigh passages? And then there’s the size of the jump from the crossword scene to their being lovers. So, why did I put all the pieces together? I think I wanted a bit more  than ending with the crossword scene. I like the brittle Leah, the uber protective woman, she’s interesting. Maybe I’m wanting more of this to flicker in the loved up scenes? See how she manages the vulnerability? I think the timeline is that she’s bruised (somehow) before she meets Jon? - editor

Thankfully your writing is as strong as ever. As it is, the plot progresses far too slowly to maintain a reader’s interest. As the various elements of Jon and Leah’s lives unfold there should be another layer (apart from Raleigh) to suggest depth of plot. But you know this, and probably have ideas on how to develop the assault sub plot (and was there a suggestion Leah had a child with Raleigh?). - agent

(See earlier draft)

“Don’t touch me.”

The rain sounded like a swarm of locusts, attacking the roof of the Mercedes, a plague on both of them. Being so close to him again was suffocating. Panic imploded inside Leah at intervals, the shockwaves rippling through her body.

I am calm, I am strong, I am in charge.

But she wasn’t any of those things.

The driver eased the car through the downpour, wipers flicking back and forth like an athlete casually flicking sweat. Her dress was stuck to her, see-through in parts. She smelled leather and aftershave.

“You have to know, I had nothing to do with your unfortunate accident.”

Leah looked at him. The menace in his blue eyes seemed to burn in the darkness. She swallowed. “But what do you have to do with my husband’s disappearance?”

Raleigh’s mouth tweaked into a smile, the same one she used to find intoxicating due to its indestructible confidence. “I was under the impression he didn’t make it for the vows.”

“He wouldn’t have left me like that.”

“Really? Then where is he?”

The disgust she felt for him made it hard to breathe. “He’s your brother. How could you?”

“How could you?”

She turned sharply. “That’s what this is about? You rape me, because I finally leave you and you do this because I fell in love with your brother.”

Raleigh turned to the window, impassive. The thing he knew she found most frustrating.

“Oh for fuck’s sake, just tell me -”

The hand leapt at her like one of those creatures on Alien. Her head hit the leather hard, wordscrushed. His twisted face didn’t curdle her stomach. He couldn’t betray her in this way any more, because she’d finally seen that love wasn’t like this.

“You’re a joke,” she got out.

His fingers tightened. She saw the intent in his eyes, the drive to hurt her. The blood stoppered up in the wrong place, her nose tingled, eyes watering.

“I didn’t rape you,” he said, through gritted teeth, shaking her.

She stared straight back into his eyes. Raleigh looked away first, his grip relaxing. Common sense should have made her stay quiet, take advantage of this lull. But she was sick of playing the game.

“You didn’t rape me, Raleigh.”

He looked at her and his face was so curious, almost hopeful and childlike, that she almost didn’t say it. But the words were in her head and her throat, ready. “You didn’t rape me, Raleigh. You just had someone else do it.”

His eyes flicked her way. He got off her, his coat gently brushing the leather, a long, extended sound. The windscreen wipers beat from side to side, almost covering Raleigh’s words.

“I didn’t rape you.”